How it should work
Before you get married, your finances are your own. Everything you do only involves you and you don’t have to share any decisions with someone else. But, if something goes wrong, you also only have yourself. In marriage, that burden gets shared. I have started noticing a trend lately that has married couples not working together when it comes to their finances. They continue as if they are single. What’s mine is mine and what’s yours is yours.
This is not how a marriage should be. Marriage is a partnership. You are in it together and for the long haul. You should be sitting together when the budget is done, when payments are made and when decisions have to be made. You also have to be willing to help each other when the need arises.
I know it’s hard to let go of the ‘me, me, me’ mentality but if you want your marriage to operate properly, then you need to make sure to put in the work and the effort. No shady business and no hiding things away from each other. Yes, this means that you need to be accountable to each other and you both need to have each other’s best interests at heart.
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It works best when you have a joint budget where you add all your debts and payments on one sheet and you add both your incomes and total it up. You can say in the description from which account it is being deducted so that you can make sure that the money is there for it. This means that any money that is extra between the two of you, is for both of you…not just the one spouse so that they can feed their addictions or go shopping.
If one spouse loses their job, then the other has to try and help carry them. They need to sit together and try to make plans on what they can do and where they have to spend less in order to make it every month. This is NOT the time to make your spouse feel bad because they are struggling to find another job and it’s been a few years. This is also NOT the time to want to throw in the towel because you can’t handle the stress anymore.
If marriages only survived during the good times, then people would hardly be married because the good times are few and far between. It’s the difficult times that build a marriage and make you closer and better as a team. Plus, I’m pretty sure your vows said, “For richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, in good times and in bad.” You made that vow and vows should not be taken lightly.
Remember, this marriage thing is a blessing from God and we should treasure the person that He gave to us. We must not take each other for granted and we should work as a team in all things, especially in our finances because that is the first place a marriage starts to suffer when the going gets tough.
That’s it from me for now…
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3 thoughts on “Finances in Marriage”
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