My Random Ramblings for November 2021

When life gets too much

I don’t know if you’ve ever been there…you know…when life starts to overwhelm you and you can feel the walls closing in around you. I don’t often feel that way because I try my best to stay positive and always look on the God side of life. But, I am human and these things do happen. I don’t like it when it happens because I become a person that I don’t like…a person I used to be many years ago before God helped me to become better.

Anyway, this past week was not a good week for me. I was feeling used, unappreciated and like I was failing at life. I work very hard and yet I haven’t really reaped any of the rewards that I should be reaping. I know that I am supposed to persevere but last week I wanted to just say “stuff it!” and walk away. Everything and everyone was making me angry. I didn’t like the anger that was constantly brewing just below the surface, it made me uneasy. That didn’t help matters at all.

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By Saturday, I was putting the washing up on my mom’s line (we were babysitting her house and my grandad while she was on holiday in Natal) and once again when all the washing was on the line, the thing closed. This makes the washing drop and touch the ground. I tried to fix it again like I usually do, but this time it was completely broken. I tried calling Storm but she had her earphones on and couldn’t hear me. That meant that I had to let it drop again. I stared at the line while I was under it and trying hard to hold it up, and it was very heavy, in the scorching sun (it’s 30 degrees celsius in the house, so you can imagine outside in the sun). Something inside me snapped.

It snapped so bad that I almost tried to rip the line out of the cement and throw it as hard as I could. I dropped the line and marched off to call Storm. We then tried to get it up and I tried to fix it, nothing worked and my anger level was soaring. I eventually said ‘That’s it!” and started ripping the washing off the line and throwing it into the basket with the pegs going flying. Shame, my poor daughter picked them up afterward as I carried the washing basket and marched inside. We had to put the washing everywhere to get it to dry.

After praying and calming down for a while, I went and apologized to Storm for losing it. Neville fixed the line by drilling a hole into the bottom of the line where it should be and putting a thick bolt and nut in so that it will not go down again.

Like I said, I don’t like that person that I become. Fortunately, thanks to my Heavenly Daddy, it happens rarely now.

That’s it from me for now…

Thank you for listening to my ramblings. Do you ever feel the way that I felt? How did you deal with it?

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