These days, there are many times that people share their opinions and perceptions of others online. Influencers get the brunt of this new pandemic the most. Hiding behind your computer or phone screen seems to give you the power and ability to be nasty for no reason to somebody you don’t know. Like Taylor Swift says in her song, if you say it in the street it’s a knockout but if you say it in a Tweet it’s a copout. It’s become so bad that I no longer read comments on YouTube or Social Media. The hatred and ugliness in this world lately breaks my heart.
I have noticed that a lot of people are buckling under the weight of other people’s perceptions and it needs to stop. We should not be forcing our opinions on others. They have their own personality, likes, dislikes, and belief system and we have ours. Imagine if we were all the same? The world would be completely boring! Please understand me. Giving advice on something in a constructive manner is a different story altogether. I’m talking about ugliness. People that call others fat, or people trying to change someone’s personality because they feel threatened by it.
Years ago, I allowed people to change who I am to make them happy but I fell into depression and was riddled with anger…all the time. Then one day, during my divorce, I made the decision. This far and no further! I would become myself again and no one was going to stop me. I can tell you that this has been a slow journey because I had changed to someone else over a period of thirteen years. It would take a while to get myself completely back.
I have made a lot of progress and I have most of myself back but there are things I still struggle to do. For instance, I used to be an extreme extrovert. I would dance on tables…sober, and I would be the life of the party. People would know me and want to be around me because I was fun to be around. I still struggle with that. I feel like I’m judged and it makes me retreat into the shadows. In fact, the other day my daughter mentioned that we don’t have fun anymore and it struck me that we don’t. Another thing that I’m now working on. I used to dance in the rain or under the stars and I want to do that again because it is a very freeing feeling. I’m going to call it Operation Earth Dance. Who’s with me?
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I have stepped out of the shadows in many other instances though. Like doing YouTube, colouring my hair blue, and then stop sign red. Dressing like a Boho because I am a bit of a Boho (I don’t follow all their practices because I’m also a Christian). I still get a lot of comments from family about the way I dress. I get told my clothes make me look larger because it’s baggy clothes. But luckily, I have reached that point now where that doesn’t bother me and I wear what I want to wear.
People in my family are very different from me. They don’t understand me or what makes me tick, so they try and change me on the constant. I know they don’t mean it in a bad way but people are like that. Whatever is different to them, they try to change. It happens over colour lines, gender lines, and many other places in life. People also don’t like change. So, when you start changing into the person you are, then they start getting jumping and twitchy.
I am very glad to be changing back to the old me. I am happier and more at peace with not only myself but with the world around me. This makes me wonder though. The people that keep trying to change everyone and that keep making nasty comments. They are not at peace with the world around them. That means that they don’t like who they are. Like Joyce Meyer says ‘hurting people hurt people’.
Well, either way…I will not allow that anymore. I am created the way that I am, weird and all. Another Joyce Meyer reference, I am authentically and uniquely me. I will not let anyone change me ever again unless it’s God that is changing me for the better. Don’t allow people to change who you are because they don’t like something. You don’t owe them anything. They are not the ones that have to live with you. You need to live with yourself and you need to like yourself. If you don’t, that’s when depression and anxiety will start taking over. Also, you can’t ever get away from yourself. Wherever you go, there you will be too.
Don’t allow people to do that to you! You are beautiful and wonderfully made the way you are. If YOU want to change, then it’s a different story but make sure that you’re doing it for yourself and not anybody else. For example, not long after I got married the first time, I became consumed by anger and developed a VERY bad temper. Everyone suffered under it and my mom even started thinking that I was bipolar. One day I was looking at my poor children and I realized that I did not like who I had become. In fact, I hated it! I made a decision right there and then to change. I asked God to help me be better and to remove the temper that I had. He did what he always does when you ask for something like that or even ask for patience. He put everything in my path to make me work on it. It took a year of working on myself, disappointment in myself, and celebrating myself. Then I realised one day that I was no longer losing my temper.
Now it takes A LOT to make me lose my temper and I thank God for helping me with that because I didn’t like myself. If you are dealing with something like that, then make the choice to be better but always do it for yourself. My hope for you is that you will not allow people to change your journey or who you are because they can’t handle it.
Another way that people try and change you is when they try and change your journey because it scares them. For example, you go to a friend or a family member and you tell them that you’re starting your own business. You’re excited and you’re expecting them to support you. Instead, you’re met with judgment, doubt, and an ‘it’s hard out there, rather give up now’ attitude.
Please don’t ever let this change your journey. They might be scared, but you are not. Do not allow their fear to become yours. I’ve noticed that fear has become a disease of epidemic proportions in the past two years. It seems to be an incurable disease for some. Fear is the opposite of faith. You need to have faith that you can do what is in your heart to do. All our journeys are not the same and our personalities are not the same either. Don’t be changed by someone that is on a different journey to you and that has a different personality to you.
Be bold, be yourself and you will be more at peace with the world.
That’s it from me for now…
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