The 5 love languages, according to Gary Chapman, are as follows:

#1: Physical touch

#2: Words of affirmation

#3: Quality time

#4: Gifts

#5: Acts of service

Now, each person has a primary love language and will probably also have another one or two of the others that also make them feel loved. If you are not shown your love language, you tend to not feel loved and your ‘tank’ is not filled for you to fill someone else’s.

When someone doesn’t have the same love language as you, it’s difficult to fill their ‘tank’ because you feel uncomfortable doing it. Some people even say that they don’t want to do it because it’s not them or their personality and the person must just love them the way they are. Unfortunately, this is not what love is all about. Sometimes you have to sacrifice and do things you don’t enjoy doing to show the person you love them. If you don’t, it’s quite selfish and self-centered…not an attractive quality.

In my family, we mostly have different love languages. My husband’s primary language is words of affirmation, my daughter’s is a toss-up between acts of service and quality time. She seems to deem both as equally important. Mine is physical touch. Quality time and acts of service are probably the hardest in this day and age when everyone is forever rushing because you can’t just throw money at it and hope it goes away. You actually have to give of yourself. I try to do this but probably fail quite often.

What are your family’s love languages and can you keep to them?

*Note: There are many different books now by Gary Chapman about The 5 Love Languages. For the one titled – The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate – you can click on the name to get it on Amazon.

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